The Man She Should Have Married Page 5

  She hadn’t said, make up your mind, but Olivia knew that’s what Eve thought. And actually, she’d have a right to feel that way. Because Olivia had been blowing hot and cold. Trouble was, she just wasn’t comfortable moving back into the world of dating. In fact, it scared the you-know-what out of her to even contemplate dating again.

  She made a face. “I’m sorry, Eve. You’re right. And I’m not mad at you or anything. I guess I have to make up my mind what it is I really want right now.”

  “Yeah, you do.”

  Olivia took a deep breath. “And I will.”

  “Good. And, Liv...”

  “What?”

  “Austin’s a good guy. You could do a lot worse.”

  “I know.”

  “But if you decide you’re not interested in him, it’s okay. I won’t be upset with you. Just...be nice. Let him down gently.”

  “I promise I will.”

  “Okay, good.” Eve looked at her watch. “And now I think it’s about time to go get our kiddos.”

  As the cousins headed toward the theater, Olivia’s thoughts were all over the place, and she wasn’t sure about much. But one thing she was sure about was how her life was changing, whether she wanted it to or not.

  Chapter Four

  “Mommy?”

  “Yes, sweetie?” Olivia finished tucking Thea into bed. Eve and the twins had left for home earlier, and Olivia had just finished giving Thea her bath.

  “Nathan and Natalie have two daddies.” She pronounced Natalie’s name “Natlee.”

  Gazing down into her daughter’s brown eyes, Olivia felt her heart swell with love. “I know.”

  Thea’s forehead knitted in thought. “Why do they?”

  Olivia sat on the side of the bed and took Thea’s hand. “I explained that to you, honey. It’s because their daddy Bill married someone else and now their mommy is married to their daddy Adam.” Olivia had decided this was the only explanation Thea could understand right now. When she got older, Olivia would explain the situation properly.

  Thea thought about this for a few minutes, then said, “My daddy died.”

  Olivia swallowed. “Yes, he did.”

  “But he loved me a lot.”

  “Yes, honey, he did. Your daddy loved you so much.”

  “Mommy, tell me the story about my daddy.”

  By now Olivia had to blink back tears, but she managed to keep it together and launch into the familiar story of the handsome daddy who was very brave and very strong and who had loved his little girl more than anyone else in the world. “And your daddy is now watching over you from Heaven,” she finished with a tender smile.

  “He’s my garden angel,” Thea said, beginning the ritual that always followed the “daddy story.”

  “Yes, he’s your guardian angel.”

  “And he’ll always keep me safe.”

  “Always.”

  “I have his hair.” Thea touched her golden curls.

  “You do.”

  “And his nose.” Now Thea was giggling, pointing at and mashing down her nose.

  “Except it’s not as big,” Olivia said, laughing in spite of the lump in her throat.

  “And his ears!” Thea tugged at both her ears.

  “Except they’re not as big, either.”

  “If he was here, he’d smother me with kisses!” Thea exclaimed, an expression of delight already on her face as she waited for what was coming.

  Olivia drew back. “I’m his messenger. Ready or not, here they come.” Then, with an exaggerated laugh, pretending to be a dive-bomber, she buried her face in her daughter’s warm neck and began kissing her.

  “Mommy, that tickles!”

  Olivia finished by kissing the tip of Thea’s nose and murmuring, “Good night, sweetheart.”

  Thea sighed happily. “Good night, Mommy.”

  “And good night to Daddy...” Olivia began.

  “Up in Heaven,” Thea finished.

  Olivia got up and dimmed the carousel lamp on Thea’s dresser. She stood there for a long moment watching her child drift into sleep. Then, whispering softly, “Sweet dreams, my beautiful girl,” she left Thea’s bedroom and headed downstairs.

  * * *

  Matt waited until nine thirty Sunday night before calling Olivia. He knew Thea’s bedtime was normally at eight, but figured he’d give Olivia some time to unwind from her hectic and emotionally chaotic weekend before fulfilling his promise to check in with her.

  “How are you?” he asked when she answered.

  “I’m okay.”

  But he could tell just by her tone that she wasn’t okay. He wasn’t surprised. Olivia was strong, much tougher than his mother imagined, but she was only human. It would be hard not to be affected by the treatment his mother had dished out.

  “Eve and the kids get off okay?”

  “Right on time. She was anxious to get back to Adam. Newlyweds, you know.”

  In her voice, he heard many things, and he knew she was already missing Eve, but more than that, there was a deeper sadness. “What’s wrong, Olivia? Did something else happen since I saw you? Or are you thinking about my mother and what she did?”

  Silence greeted his question, followed by a barely perceptible sigh. Just when he thought she wasn’t going to answer at all, she said softly, “When I was putting Thea to bed, she asked me why Natalie and Nathan have two daddies.”

  The words, filled with pain, hit Matt somewhere in the vicinity of his solar plexus. He didn’t know what to say. Groping clumsily, he finally said, “Life sucks sometimes.”

  “Yes,” Olivia said in a weary voice.

  “Liv, do you want—”

  “You know what,” she said before he could finish his half-assed question, “I can’t talk about this right now. I’m so tired. I just want to go to bed. I’m sorry, Matt. I’ll call you tomorrow.”

  And then she was gone.

  Matt sat staring into space for a long time after that disconnect. Two emotions were warring inside. The first was anger at his mother and the second was the fierce love he felt for Olivia and Thea.

  When he finally got up and went into the compact kitchen of his mid-rise condo near the county offices where he spent most of his waking hours, he had made up his mind. No matter what the outcome of his father’s attempt to talk some sense into his mother, Matt would do whatever it took to protect Olivia and Thea from any more pain...or loss. And if that meant a complete break from his family, so be it.

  * * *

  Olivia had a hard time falling asleep. She kept thinking about Thea and reliving the day she’d gotten the news about Mark and his death. She’d thought she was recovered from his loss, and had accepted what had happened. She’d believed she was fully ready to move forward.

  But tonight’s bedtime ritual with Thea, always bittersweet, had been more painful, more filled with an almost overwhelming sense of loss. Was it always going to be this way? Would she never be able to feel entirely happy again?

  Of course, you’ll move forward. Of course you won’t always be sad. This is a normal progression of grief you’re feeling. Remember how you felt when your dad died? Magnify that by about ten, and that’s what you’re dealing with now. When you lose someone you love, it’s always two steps forward, one step back.

  The voice in her head wasn’t hers. It was Eve’s. And Olivia’s head knew Eve was right. But her heart was having a hard time tonight.

  That’s because Thea showed you a part of her heart. We can always deal with our own sorrows and regrets, but when it comes to our children, it’s tougher. We want to protect them from everything. And we can’t.

  Eve again.

  Olivia almost laughed. Eve was like her alter ego or something. Or her twin. They j
ust understood each other.

  Eve was right. Olivia needed to quit beating herself up because she’d taken a step backward tonight. Thea hadn’t known it. Olivia had soothed her and reminded her of how loved she was and always would be. By Olivia, by everyone, and especially by the father guarding her.

  More tranquil now, Olivia’s thoughts finally segued into what Eve had said about Matt. Was it possible Eve was right about that, too? Was Matt in love with her?

  The idea thrilled her, but it also terrified her. Because she knew she was right, too. No matter how much they might care about each other, nothing could ever come of an attraction between them. It was hard enough living with Vivienne now. If Olivia and Matt should become involved in that way, there would be all-out war. Vivienne would never sit still for another son of hers tying himself to Olivia.

  So there was no point in thinking about Matt. If he did harbor feelings for her, he’d get over them. Especially if she discouraged him the way she had involuntarily done tonight by cutting off their conversation. She’d felt bad afterward, but now she realized the way she’d ended tonight’s phone call might be the first step in distancing herself. Even so, she didn’t want to hurt him. So what else could she do? She couldn’t say anything, could she? No. Not unless he said something first.

  You could date someone else.

  Now that voice inside her was Eve again! Yes, Eve, she mentally answered, that would probably discourage him.

  If Austin calls you, you should go out with him. And you should make a point of telling Matt.

  Olivia closed her eyes. It saddened her to think of doing something so underhanded, but what other choice did she have?

  On and on her thoughts went, replaying the phone conversation she’d had with Matt earlier, replaying everything she and Eve had discussed, going over and over the possibilities of how she could move forward with her life, perhaps build a new family with a daddy for Thea, yet somehow keep from causing Thea another loss, this time of her Britton grandparents—until finally Olivia fell into a fitful sleep.

  Her dreams were as scrambled with emotions and people and events as her thoughts had been. Thea calling “Daddy!” Eve and Austin beckoning to her. Vivienne spewing hateful words. Her mother fainting. Erotic images of Matt. Those were the most vivid. Matt, kissing her, touching her, making love to her. The images of Matt, so real and coming as they did just before dawn, caused her to awaken gasping, her heart pounding.

  Later, after a long shower that soothed her and brought her back to reality, dressed and ready for the day, she stood at the kitchen counter in her blue scrubs waiting for her coffee to be ready and told herself that for her sake and for Thea’s, she had to focus on going forward toward what was possible, even if it wasn’t what she really wanted.

  But it didn’t really matter what she wanted, did it? Thea’s welfare was far more important. So Olivia needed to suck it up and put ideas of Matt out of her mind for good. Because, unfortunately for her and for him, if he really did harbor romantic feelings toward her, her association with the Britton family had mostly brought her unhappiness and heartache and it didn’t look as if that would ever change. It certainly wouldn’t change if she and Matt became a couple.

  Olivia was done with unhappiness. Done with heartache. She wanted something different in her life, something that promised peace and calm, happiness and security for both her and Thea.

  And the only way to achieve that was to move on.

  With someone other than a Britton.

  * * *

  “Say that again?” Matt couldn’t believe he’d heard his father correctly.

  “I said, your mother thinks we should petition family court for primary custody of Thea,” his father repeated.

  “I can’t believe this. What possible grounds could you have?”

  “Your mother feels this latest incident at the festival, added to the other incidents she’s documented, will show that Olivia is an unfit mother.”

  “Other incidents? What other incidents?”

  “Your mother’s been keeping a list. Dates, times, circumstances, witnesses. She showed it to me, Matt. It’s pretty incriminating.”

  “Dad, this is ridiculous. I can’t believe you’re in agreement with this.”

  “That list is bad, Matt. Your mother’s right. Olivia doesn’t seem responsible, just like your mother says.”

  Matt was appalled that his father could be taken in so easily. “This is the craziest thing I’ve ever heard. You know what? I’m coming over. I want to talk to both you and Mom together.”

  “Matt, I don’t think that’s a good—”

  “I’m coming.” He broke the connection.

  Thirty minutes later, he was knocking at his parents’ door. His father answered.

  “Matt.” He took Matt’s arm, “I really wish you’d—”

  Matt shook his father off. “Where’s Mom?”

  “She’s in the sunroom, but—”

  Ignoring his father, Matt strode straight back to the sunroom. He found his mother seated at the glass-topped table in front of the windows that looked out over the garden.

  “Hello, Matthew,” she said, looking up. She didn’t smile.

  “We were just about to eat lunch, son,” his father said.

  “And you were not invited,” his mother said.

  Before she’d finished speaking, Phoebe, their longtime cook, entered the room with a laden tray. “Oh, hello, Mr. Matt,” she said. “I didn’t know you were here. I’ll get another plate.”

  “No need,” his mother said in a clipped voice. “He’s not staying.”

  “Oh, okay.”

  “Vivienne...” his father said.

  She gave Matt’s father one of her chilling looks, and whatever else he might have said died on his lips. He avoided Matt’s gaze.

  Matt sighed. He knew his mission was doomed to fail, but he had to at least try. He wouldn’t be able to count on his father, though, that was obvious. He waited until Phoebe had unloaded the food: a bowl of shrimp salad, sliced tomatoes, French bread, butter and a pitcher of lemonade.

  “That’s all, Phoebe,” his mother said, and Phoebe, who had hesitated, nodded and left the room, but not before giving Matt an apologetic glance.

  Vivienne began filling her plate. “Sit down, Hugh.”

  Matt’s father, whose role in their family had been determined long ago, shrugged and took his seat.

  Matt, not about to allow his mother to cow him, too, pulled out one of the other chairs and joined them.

  She turned toward him and narrowed her eyes. “I thought I made myself quite clear when I said you were not invited to stay.”

  “I have no intention of leaving until we talk about this latest craziness of yours.”

  “I beg your pardon?”

  “I can’t believe you are really going to try to take Thea away from her mother.”

  “Believe what you want.”

  “Mom, this is just wrong.”

  His mother put down her fork. “Matthew, I don’t really care what you think. I will do what I know is best for my granddaughter. End of discussion.”

  “You’re really willing to drag the Britton name through the mud? The Marchand name? Have everyone in Crandall Lake know your business?” Appealing to her family pride seemed the only avenue open to Matt, since it seemed to be highest on her list of priorities.

  “My name won’t be the one sullied, because I’m not the one who’s unfit to raise Thea.” So saying, she picked up her fork again and ate some of her shrimp salad.

  Matt thought of ten things he could have said in rejoinder, but what was the use? Nothing would change his mother’s mind, and his father didn’t have the backbone to oppose her. “Fine. You’re obviously determined to go down this path. But I won’t be a pa
rty to it, and if you proceed, I won’t help you.”

  “You would go against us?” his mother said in disbelief. “You would side against your own parents? Surely, even in your misguided state, you have to agree that Thea would be better off with us.”

  Matt shook his head. “No. I don’t agree. Olivia is a good mother, and she doesn’t deserve what you’re doing to her.” He pushed back his chair and stood. “She was Mark’s wife, for God’s sake. Think about what he would say if he were alive.”

  Her eyes narrowed. “I’m warning you, Matthew. Leave your brother out of this. And you stay out of it. Because if you don’t, you will live to regret it.”

  With that last threat ringing in his ears, Matt turned and walked out of the room, leaving his parents to their lunch...and to each other.

  But as he drove back to his office, he knew he had to warn Olivia. So after parking his car, and before heading inside, he took out his cell phone and called her work number.

  “Registration and Admitting.”

  Matt didn’t recognize the voice. “May I speak to Olivia Britton, please?”

  “She’s on her lunch break. Would you like to leave a message?”

  “No, thanks. I’ll call her cell.”

  Olivia answered on the second ring. “Hi, Matt.”

  “Hi. I called your work number first. I know you’re at lunch. Can you talk?”

  “Sure. I’m sitting outside, enjoying the beautiful day and eating my tuna sandwich.”

  “Well, I don’t want to ruin your lunch hour for you, but something’s come up that you need to know about.”

  “Oh?”

  “Look, there’s no way to sugarcoat this. My mother plans to petition family court for primary custody of Thea.”

  “What?”

  The alarm in Olivia’s voice was evident. Matt sighed. “I know. I was just as shocked as you are.”

  “On what grounds?”

  “That you’re an unfit mother.”

  “Oh, my God. You mean, because of Saturday?”

  “Not just Saturday, apparently. My father says my mother’s been keeping a list of incidents, with dates and times and witnesses.”